Ow do me owd duck. Dunna just stand there. Tek all yer clothes off an get on yer knees.

So alongside writing personalised stories I have now had a few requests to record the stories, presumably so my slaves can listen while they wank as opposed to reading while they wank. It is nice to close your eyes and listen to a Mistress telling you what to do. That and spunk is a pain in the arse to get off the keyboard. 

I have recorded my voice now a few times. My voice is almost free of my native Stoke-on-Trent accent. Not deliberately. I think the Stoke accent is one of the best in the country. Friendly and welcoming. Though in a night club if you hear the word ‘duck’ you would be as well to actually duck first and question what the meaning was later; in Stoke duck means mate.

So after sending a few recordings one of my long term clients asked me to record in my Stoke accent. Ah, bugger. Drama school was all RP (received pronunciation or the Queens English). They didn’t like me much because I questioned why Shakespeare should be performed using a posh voice “even though I am playing the Gaoler’s Daughter?!” Snobby idiots. The one accent that Shakespeare would not have been spoken in during his time was the one that sounds like a person is trying to keep a rather large buttplug in. 

However try as I might, my accent slowly disappeared. After drama school I moved to London where I tried to get work as an actress. One critic said that I ‘struggled with a potteries accent.’ Though you could argue that the nit had probably never been to Stoke and met a Stokie. The people who often have the most opinions about your hometown, wherever that is, often know the least. 

But that was over ten years ago. Since then I have spent a lot of time going to very nice restaurants and private clubs, fitting in as much as possible with the people around me. For me, in my job as a sex worker (oo how some dommes and slaves hate that term!) I fit into my surroundings so as to never make the man I am with a focus for attention. Of course that is sometimes not easy. I can mute my clothes and my accent but I always have the odd person stare. I once got paranoid in the Ivy when two women kept staring at me. I thought there was something on my face until my client said that they thought I was famous. God how I would hate to be famous! 

Anyway this has all chipped away my accent so when a slave asked for the personalized story to be read in Stoke I turned to what everyone turns to for help these days. YouTube. 

There were some charming videos, my favourite was a child trying to understand what her Stokie dad was saying. So I listened, remembered and recorded myself. 

Was it sexy? Well I don’t know about that. I found it comical but I find comedy in most things. I am glad I got it back though. We shouldn’t have to change completely to fit around others should we?

I am thinking about recording my blogs and putting them on my website. But which voice to use? 

Balancing a buttplug up the arse or loook booook and coook though, that is the question.

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