Happy Birthday Piano Man
By Elizabeth Swan on
After my slight rant yesterday I wanted to write something positive and as it is a friend’s birthday today I wanted to write a few words about him. I met him in this business about 5 years ago when he visited me as a client. When he took his clothes off I noted some hilarious, bright, golfing socks. After the session we chatted a little and I told him I could read people. He said the obvious, 'go on then. Read me.' I told him he played golf, sometimes abroad, he had children and he had some money. He almost fell off his chair. I mean I wasn't being bloody Sherlock. The golf was obvious due to the socks, he had a bit of a tan, 95% of my clients have kids and if a man visits me and plays golf and has enough money for bright socks with no holes in them then he's doing okay financially. Anyway that was the start. For the next few years he saw me professionally and it was always wonderful and fun. We would have the odd hilarious argument. Sometimes men don't like the cash transaction so they can become a little difficult. Which leads to 'Can I pay you in a different way?' In one way that is a little odd. You wouldn't say to your dentist ‘can I pay you in shoes/clothes etc.’ But then on the other hand the relationship between a sex worker and a client is a special thing. Feelings of trust and intimacy develop. Let us ignore the mind connection for just one minute and concentrate on the basic foundation of a man; his cock. This is the body part that men think about and care about the most and now it is literally in one hand and you have a violet wand/sounds/candle/pinwheel in your other hand and they are tied up and unable to stop you should you choose to go bat shit Kathy Bates on them. That is trust people. It's quite an honour. Then there is the mental connection. For a session to go well you have to understand what the client needs but might be afraid to broach. The great thing about seeing a professional is we have probably heard it before. Telling a new girlfriend that you want to be gagged with her piss stained knickers and tied and locked in a cupboard might not go down too well. Alongside that we need to work within the rubber band boundaries of the client. Stretching them is fine but adding anal play or needles when a client has not given the okay during the briefing is certainly not. So back to my client with the daft socks. I told him I wanted a Steinway grand piano. That nipped the subject of payment in the bud and the envelopes filled with money that I could actually use to pay my rent continued. And his name was coined. Piano man. Yes I am afraid gents that most of you will have other names that your sex workers know you as. There are only so many times you can put in your contacts John1 John2 Dave1 Dave2. (Extraordinary how many John’s and Dave’s there are). Most of these nicknames will be flattering. Some will be comical. And if you are an arse and we don't want to see you again they will contain swear words. We do save numbers of time wasters so there is no point calling from the same number and putting on an accent. Yes I am talking to you Another Twat. Or possibly I am talking to AW TW C*** (And that's just two examples from my A contact list) Anyway enough of that. Back to piano man. I was having a bad time in my personal life when I first met him. Of course he didn't know that. It's bad form to bleat on about your own problems when administering a caning. Our relationship gradually evolved from a professional one to one of friendship and the sessions ended. A few years ago I took him out for dinner on his birthday. The next day I found he had put in my bank account a large chunk of money. I could not believe it. It enabled me to get on the property ladder and although he said it was a gift I am (slowly!) paying him back. It was a wonderful, selfless and beautiful thing to do and he did it wanting nothing in return. He just wanted to do something nice for me. There is no way I would ever have crossed paths with this man in the so-called 'normal' world. Or any of my other clients/friends. I feel privileged and I just wanted to say thank you to the men I have known for years. So (just a glimpse at my unimaginative nicknames) to Puck, The Professor, Scottish Les, Posh Scottish Man, Cross Dressing Scottish Man, Poppers Scottish Man, (do not ask me why I have so many Scottish clients, I have no clue) Belgravia Man and Italian Man. Thank you. And to others that I haven't mentioned but you know who you are. And Happy Birthday Piano Man. XElizabeth Swan