Lorraine Kelly needs to get fucked
By Elizabeth Swan on
My first mistake this morning was putting on Lorraine. My second was watching it for fifteen minutes. There was a guest who was advising what to do if you were faced with a polar bear. She was advertising some challenge she had set herself. Some trek in the snow, presumably where polar bears live. A long trek which she said she probably wouldn’t finish but it was the journey that mattered. If you wish to spunk money up the wall you can help this woman on her journey of pointlessness as 'she has set up a go fund me', Lorraine told her viewers.
A few minutes later Lorraine was interviewing Olivia Atwood about her show ‘Getting Filthy Rich.’ It is about sex workers selling content on the internet. Lorraine says she doesn’t get it and why would anyone pay to be insulted? I thought about my own masochistic tendency to watch brain numbing shite on telly.
She continued that it was sad that women have to make money like this and the whole thing is tawdry. Did Olivia, who is paid money to make a show about sex workers, say anything in our defence? Did she point out the difference between factory work and selling pics of your feet? Did she say that stigma actually contributes towards us being seen as disposable by society? Of course not. Like Louis Theroux, Atwood doesn't mind mining our stories for their own careers, but they don't actually give a shit about us.
Then Lorraine continued with disgust on her face.
“I don’t understand why a woman would want to have sex with a thousand men in one day and that men would wait in line.”
Well firstly Lorraine people do all kinds of things for money. You chat to celebrities who pretend to have written books and Bonnie Blue has sex for money.
Secondly, maybe she wants to see if her body is up to it. It’s a challenge, like the woman you had sitting on your sofa five minutes before talking about her trek and her encounters with polar bears. And I don’t know about you but given the choice I would far rather be fucked by a thousand men than meet a polar bear. Those fuckers will chew you from the feet up. A feeling I am sure is akin to watching your entire show.
Elizabeth Swan