Elizabeth Swan

Why a dominatrix should not work on a vanilla chatline...

By Elizabeth Swan on

Over Christmas I decided to expand my business in 2017, and alongside other dom related projects (publishing an ebook for example) I am going to start to offer domination phone chat. Now I used to offer this service through Adult Work but I fell out with them and removed myself from the site. (Regular readers of my blog know why, so no need to bang on about it.) And so I needed to think of another way to offer phone chat. I have decided to set up my own line but first I wanted more practise speaking to men on the phones as I hadn’t had that many calls on AW. I know, I know. I have been working as a Domme for years so why do I need to practice? Well I’ll tell you. In person I am confident that a session will go well. Even a monosyllabic slave is easy to read. What they like, what they want to do, if the slave is near his limits etc. The way the man’s body responds show me the way. However on the phone I can only use my listening skills and if the wrong words are spoken they hang up immediately. Watersports, ‘Urgh!’ click. Strap-on, ‘I’m not fucking gay!’ click etc. And so I decided I needed a lot of rehearsal, and what better way to do that than to work for a chatline? Well it has been quite an experience. And my God I am in awe of the women who have done it for years. So firstly there are different groups and you have to cater to everything, so I describe myself as a twenty three year old nympho with blonde hair and pert boobs. “What’s that? You called the gilf number? Let me just transfer you.” (puts on older voice) “Hello dear, I am a sixty three year old granny with breasts that hang on my stomach and I simply LOVE being serviced by a young man. Would you like to fill my pipes?” Oh it’s a hoot. But unfortunately I didn’t receive many domination calls. Then the first one I had hung up after 50 seconds. I was left shouting into the beeping in my ear “I am a dominatrix who charges at least 200 an hour, and you can’t be BOTHERED to talk for A SINGLE MINUTE!” Then soon afterwards I had more success. The most common domination fantasy was cross dressing. Most guys are so shy on the phone that they say they like something else, spanking for example, but then I found there were ways to gently bring out of them what they actually wanted to talk about. One, I took from a gentle spanking to his ultimate fantasy. Being feminized to the point of looking like a porn star with enormous breast implants and collagen filled lips that were perfect for sucking cock. Which he would do when I sent him to a porn set so he could fluff the porn star men to get them ready for their scenes. Now could I have built up to that with little to go on and not very much experience on the phone? Probably not. So the experience I had over the last week has been great. Most men are lovely. (Do you sense a ‘but’ coming up?!) They call from all areas of the UK, though there does seem to be an extremely high number of horny gentlemen in Yorkshire. Some men would call up just to talk. Not necessarily about sex. Just to reach out and make a connection with someone. I think it is an incredibly valuable service, particularly over the Christmas months when so many people are alone. At that time the world seems to be full of families and couples having fun which is really fucking irritating/upsetting if you are miserable. So men can call these numbers. Also they aren’t as expensive as you would think. Most charge about 35 pence a minute. You will notice I said most men are lovely. But there a few that are so vile that they should be locked up. That want to make the woman on the phone feel as awful as possible. “Wow you must have really failed in life and be really poor to do this job,” “I want to see you get fucked by a tramp so you know what a dirty slut you are.” (That one didn’t actually bother me that much. Out of the choice of the caller or the homeless gent I know which one I would rather fuck.) Then there was my last caller.… So the phone call started like this. “How are you today” “Horny” “Okay great, let me help you with that” And so I described myself, the me that is blonde with enormous boobs and who likes to fuck every day. Who hangs around in negligee just waiting for the workmen to come around. I asked him if he would like me to suck his cock. He said he didn’t like that. I thought ‘uh oh’ at that point and changed it to would he like to bend me over? No was the reply to that. I mentioned my wet pussy and then he started giving me shit. He said that I was bad at the job and that he wasn’t paying all this money to talk about my pussy. And why couldn’t I talk about something interesting?! (If you come through to the sex chatline and say you are horny I am not going to talk about the bloody ironing I need to do am I? And my pussy isn’t interesting?!!! Men, dare to say that to a woman’s face and you’ll find yourself singing soprano.) I asked him what did interest him and he started moaning again about the money and how much he was paying to call me. Now my biggest bugbear, above rudeness, bad hygiene, arrogance in fact everything really, is men moaning about the price of our services. So I replied that I was dreadfully sorry that 35 pence a minute was too expensive for him, and to (ahem) “fuck off and call the Samaritans.” And with that, my research was over. Oh but it hasn’t put me off setting up a domme line. Far from it. But slaves, I will be charging more than 35 pence a minute. And lastly you will be speaking to me, Elizabeth Swan rather than sexy, busty Cassandra from Chesterfield who likes two at a time up the wrong ‘un. X

Elizabeth Swan